The Mechanics of Things
by Baron Hotshaft Von Hugenstein
Summary: A one-shot describing the emotions and reveleations of Mai and Naru's tumulutous relationship before and after Naru leaves for London.


Disclaimer: Ghost Hunt doesn't belong to me

* * *

The Mechanics of Things

* * *

"We need to talk."

Four little words, Mai thinks. Four little words are all it takes for her heart to throb against her ribs and her hands to grow slick with sweat.

She doesn't want to talk really. She feels like so much has transpired between them that words will _never_ be enough to encompass the whole of it.

She feels like he's already said enough, or maybe it's the fact that he _hasn't_, and _she's_ certainly said enough for the both of them.

She pushes away from the desk anyways, wheels rolling across the floor the only sound in the room and raises her face to his expectantly. She swallows around a suddenly dry mouth.

Naru's eyes shift from her face to the paper on her desk to the pen Mai taps nervously on her leg. She tries to match her breathing to the steady rhythm.

"What's that?" he asks, nodding vaguely towards her desk, and she can see from his eyes that he already knows, and is only asking because he wants to put her on the spot.

It irks her slightly, the confidence in his voice, someone who's used to getting his way. Naru never really asks, just hides his demand under carefully chosen words.

She glances at it and wonders briefly if maybe she should have hidden it before she had heard him walking towards her. It isn't finished and she knows if there's a single mistake Naru will find it and ridicule her for it. It would have come up eventually, however, and Mai would prefer to just get it over with.

"It's a letter of resignation."

Saying the words out loud makes it feel that much more real to her. She swallows around a lump in her throat.

Naru's eyes narrow slightly and he reaches forward across the desk and plucks the paper off of it in one swift, smooth motion.

* * *

Mai has started to notice subtle changes in Naru she hasn't noticed before. He's stopped taking so many cases, and instead spends his whole day in his office. The few times Mai has passed by it she observes the way his blinds are constantly drawn and the lamp is always off, his room a den of shadows. He doesn't come out anymore, and she isn't ever called in. She hasn't made a cup of tea in almost a month.

Sometimes she'll walk into a room where Naru and Lin are talking and the conversation will immediately stop. Before, she tried to stay in the room and make small talk, but the short, curt answers she received in reply were enough to make her realize she wasn't welcome. She stopped trying to be polite.

She's noticed how Naru has started to pull away from her, and this one frustrates her the most. He'd never been very open to begin with, but Mai took pride in the fact that she had managed to chisel away _some_ of his cold exterior.

But for some reason, a wall had returned in its place, this one higher and stronger and much more fortified then the previous one. Even optimistic Mai had a hard time seeing a chance of ever making it around this one, of ever even putting a dent in its impregnable structure.

She starts to visit Lin in his office every day. The usual flow of customers is no longer a worry and Mai has plenty of free time to do whatever she wants. She'll never admit to it, but she's lonely. Now with the rest of the team always away on other business and Naru constantly MIA, she's back to being alone like she was before she met SPR, when she was the girl at school that everyone took pity on because she had lost both her parents and had no other relatives to speak of.

Lin doesn't talk much, just sits at his desk and types away on his laptop, sometimes answering the phone. She doesn't mind though. He lets her make him tea and sit within his comfort zone and that's enough for her. Sometimes, Naru will join them, if only for a couple of minutes, and it feels like it used to, when Mai was included rather than the third wheel between them.

But eventually, even Lin starts pulling away. He gets phone calls that Mai has to leave the room for him to answer, and begins to spend most of his day in Naru's office. Mai is left sitting in the waiting room alone.

Bou-san visits one day, as Mai is getting ready to leave, throwing himself onto the couch with a grace that doesn't suit his large frame.

Mai smiles at him, her first real smile in a while, and some of the tightness in her chest eases. She goes to sit by him, tucking her feet up underneath her and leaning her head against his broad shoulder. They sit like that for a while, talking and laughing and reminiscing, and Naru even comes out of his office and tells them to be quiet.

"Just like old times." Bou-san chuckles. He's noticed the change too, Mai realizes. She wants to bring it up, but she's afraid talking about it will upset her, so she doesn't.

They talk for a moment longer and then Mai tells him she has to get ready to leave for her second job. Without as many cases coming in, she's had to work harder to pull in enough income to live on her own. Bou-san nods then squints up at her as she's pulling on her coat and purse.

"Do you ever get lonely out here, all by yourself? Now that the rest of us aren't around all time?" he asks. His voice holds an undercurrent that says he's worried about her, and it reminds Mai of how a father would talk to his child.

There's a pause, as Mai pushes the strap of her purse back up on her shoulder and Mai answers before it stretches out too long.

"No." she lies. "I'm not lonely. I have Naru and Lin."

Bou-san looks at her and she sees in his eyes that he knows. She's glad he doesn't call her out on it. She wouldn't know what to say.

Instead, she forces another smile, gives Bou-san another quick hug, calls her goodbyes to Naru and Lin, which go unanswered, and then leaves, before anyone can see the sadness written plainly upon her face.

* * *

Mai wants to reach out and rip the paper out of his hands, but doesn't. She was going to give it to him anyways, so there's no point in acting childish. She has to clasp her hands in her lap anyways.

Naru doesn't look at the paper in his hands, just stares at her until she starts to fidget. Then he sighs, like he's disappointed, which only serves to make Mai angrier.

"Why?" he asks, and there it is again, that tone, the one that implies that he expects an answer.  
She wants to imagine that he's asking because he actually cares, but she knows he only is because this is a problem he wasn't expecting, and Naru hates to leave any problem unanswered.

For a moment, Mai toys with the idea of playing the same impassive card her always deals her, but decides conforming for him would be playing right into his trap. Instead, she snatches the paper back from him, smoothes out the wrinkles and answers without looking at him.

"You know why." Her voice trembles on the last word. She bites her tongue.

A silence follows, one that to Mai is tortuous. She tries to appear calm and collected, like she's the one in control; she's the one waiting for him, but ends up having to wipe the palms of her hands on her jeans. She looks at Naru from the corner of her eye and notices that he's picked her letter of resignation back up and is scanning over it quickly.

"I feel I cannot work here anymore," Naru reads aloud, heavy sarcasm lining his words, "due to certain conflicts of interest." He looks up from the paper, meeting her eyes and coolly raises an eyebrow. "Conflicts?"

Mai blushes and reaches to grab her paper back again, but Naru takes a tiny step backward and her over-calculated lunge lands her in a heap on the floor.

She feels stupid and miserable and utterly humiliated. This hadn't gone the way she had planned at all. In her mind she had pictured barging into his office, instead of knocking politely and slamming the paper down on his desk. His eyes would widen and he would look at her in shock. For once, Mai would get the last the word. She picks herself up off the floor despondently, avoiding his eyes.

Her cheeks are burning fiercely. She grabs her jacket off the back of her chair and slips her arms into it. "I'm going out." she says, and her voice sounds defeated.

Naru says nothing, and makes no move to stop her. She wants it to be a triumphant moment, but it isn't, because instead of feeling as if she's leaving, it feels as if she's being dismissed. Naru, Mai realizes, _always_ gets the last word. No matter what.

* * *

Mai cracks her head against the floor and wakes up, making a small noise of pain. She's twisted at an odd angle in her bed, her legs up over her head, so that her back is tilted up painfully.

She lies on the floor for a moment, trying to recall any wisps of her nightmare; she slides the rest of the way out of her bed, untwisting her legs from her blankets and massaging the back of her head and neck. She just barely missed the edge of her bedside table. She's grateful for small miracles.

Her back is sore and her mouth is dry. She glances at the clock blinking on her bedside table and realizes she must have pulled the cord out when she fell. She sits on the edge of her bed for a minute, until her heart stops racing and her hands stop shaking, then goes and makes herself a cup of tea.

The clock on her microwave reads 5:47. Mai grabs her mug of tea and curls up in her recliner, face turned towards the window. She sips her tea and stares out the window, watching the sun rise until the alarm in her room goes off at 6:30.

She gets up, turns it off, then marks off a day on her calendar. It's the 27th. She calls Naru and gets his voicemail. She leaves him a message that she won't be coming in for work today then turns her phone off and leaves it on the bedside table.

She gets ready and eats breakfast then leaves her apartment, slipping her coat on as she closes the door behind her. She stops at a flower shop and buys two dozen pink roses. The walk isn't long, but she takes her time, watching each puff of breath float up into the air and slowly dissipate among the chilly sky.

The cemetery is empty when she gets there, except for one man sitting on the bench, reading. Mai opens the gate and walks inside, nodding to the man as she passes him.

When she finds her parents graves she kneels in front of them, placing the roses in front of both. The ground is wet, and the moisture soaks up through her jeans and chills her knees.

She bows her head and prays then stands up and walks back to where the bench is. The man is gone.

Mai sits down and tucks her hands in her pockets to keep them warm. She watches the sun make an arc across the sky. The day is so bright it makes her eyes sting. The cemetery begins filling up a few hours later, and Mai gets up to leave.

She's started down the sidewalk home when she hears a honk behind her. She turns around and sees a sleek red car following her down the road. Ayako sticks her scarlet head out the window and shouts something Mai can't hear then honks her horn again.

Mai feels a smile tugging at her mouth and stops walking, turning to face the car. As it pulls closer Mai sees that Bou-san and Masako are sitting in the car with Ayako. She flushes with sudden pleasure and smiles so wide she feels like her face will split. The car rolls to a stop beside her.

Bou-san kicks his door open (Ayako snarls an irate "Hey watch the leather.") and pulls her into his lap. Mai giggles happily, gives him a quick hug before she slips into the back seat to sit beside Masako. Masako gives her a graceful tilt of the head as a hello and Mai grins at her in return.

Ayako guns the engine and they move smoothly down the road.

"It's good to see you guys." Mai says happily. She gives Masako a spontaneous hug, and the medium gives a squeak of surprise before patting Mai carefully on the head.

She must know, Mai thinks. Bou-san must have told her.

"This is a nice car." Mai says, excitedly running her hands over the seat. Masako rolls her eyes but Mai can see the corners of her lips turning up from beneath her sleeve.

"Yeah, well that's what you get when you have a rich father." Ayako says nonchalantly, shrugging.

"Too bad we can't all be born with a silver spoon rammed up our ass." Bou-san laughs and Ayako glares at him, snapping something back angrily.

Mai settles back into the seat and watches as Ayako and Bou-san shoot insults back and forth and Masako adds little barbs about both of them when the conservation lulls.

She hasn't realized just how much she's missed them.

"It's nice of you guys to remember." she says softly.

Ayako and Bou-san exchange a glance and then Ayako says gently, "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Yeah." Bou-san quips. "Her daddy's probably already given her that anyways."

Even Ayako laughs this time, and Mai finds she's grateful to have such thoughtful friends.

They drop her off at her apartment a little later, after driving aimlessly down the road for a while, and they all three get out and give her hugs. "Good seeing you Mai." Bou-san says, ruffling her hair. He shoots her a cheeky grin then slides back into his seat, fiddling with the dials on the radio.

Masako gives her quick pat on the back and an uncharacteristic "Goodbye Mai," before joining Bou-san in the car.

Ayako brushes a strand of hair behind Mai's ear then tucks her into another hug. "If you ever need anyone, let us know." she says.

Her words sound like they're carrying a double meaning. Mai nods, confused, and Ayako slips into the driver's seat and is down the road before Mai can ask her what exactly she meant.

* * *

The letter isn't spoken about again. Mai still has it, crumpled up at the back of her closet, in a shoebox where she keeps all her trinkets. She likes to tell herself that she keeps it for the off chance she ever decides to use it again. They both know she never will.

Some semblance of normalcy has returned to the office. The rest of the team is present more often than not, and Naru has started taking a regular flow of cases again. He even calls for Mai to make him tea, just like he used to.

It's not the same though.

Mai has a feeling it never will be.

There's a rift between her and Naru that hadn't been there before. The flow of conversation they used to maintain, whether it was insults or not, is no longer there. Their exchange is stilted at best, nonexistent at worst.

The Before Mai would have tried to fix it.

The After Mai is too scared to get attached again.

Bou-san slaps his hand down on the table in front of him suddenly, breaking Mai from her reverie. "Man am I hungry" He says loudly, making a point of rubbing his stomach and eyeing Ayako from the corner of his eye.

She looks up from the medical book she's reading and rolls her eyes, finding a more comfortable position in the chair she's sitting in. Making it obvious she's not getting up.

Bou-san flops around on the couch and sighs heavily and pointedly once or twice before Ayako throws down her book and snaps, "Alright I'll take you someplace to eat." Bou-san smiles like the cat who caught the canary and wiggles his eyebrows at Mai. She laughs.

Ayako looks at Mai then nods to the door. "Do you want to come with us?" she asks. Mai mulls it over then shakes her head. "Naru wouldn't like it if we all left."

Ayako nods then says, "Do you want anything?"

Mai shakes her head again and smiles. "If you tried to bring me anything back Bou-san would have it eaten before you got here."

Bou-san seems to consider this, and then bobs his head in agreement.

Ayako smiles and shakes her head, but it's a motherly gesture and her face softens when she does.

"We'll be back soon," she says, then sweeps out the doorway, Bou-san following close behind.

Mai watches the door close then turns back to her desk, to where she had been scribbling doodles in the margin of her notebook. She's about to start up again when Naru's door opens and he walks out, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest.

"I'd like some tea." he says. There's a moment where he pauses, and they're just staring into each other's eyes. Mai feels a slow creep of heat making its way up her neck and tries to stop it before it reaches her cheeks. Naru stands there a minute longer, then disappears back into his room, leaving the door open behind him.

Mai sighs, then moves to make his tea. She goes to knock on Lin's door and is surprised to see it's open. She walks in and takes a seat at his desk, smiling up at him. "Would you like some tea?" she asks. Lin looks away from the computer screen and nods once at her. "Thank you, Taniyama-san. It's very kind of you." he says. He's a little more talkative now and Mai wonders if it's his way of making up and apologizing.

Mai smiles at him again then hurries toward the small kitchenette, where the tea kettle is whistling.

She pours three cups of tea, puts one on her desk, gives one to Lin then walks into the dark office to deliver Naru his.

He's sitting at his desk, reading a file, the light from the computer casting strange shadows on his face. He looks up at her and snaps the file shut with one hand. She holds his gaze, then sets the teacup down on his desk and turns to go.

"Mai." Naru says, and she stops and looks at him over shoulder, eyebrows raised.

There's a short silence, where all Mai can hear is the ticking of the clock and the noise of her and Naru's combined breaths.

"Thank you." He says and Mai nods then closes the door behind her. She takes a seat back at her desk and stares into her cup of tea until it's too cold to drink.

He comes out of his room an hour later and sets his tea cup in the sink. Mai keeps her head down, focusing on her doodles rather than him.

He doesn't say a caustic comment like he used to would, something about how she should be working not wasting his time. Instead, he stands at the sink for a moment longer; staring at the wall above her head, then turns and walks back into his office.

It's different between them now, tense and awkward, nothing like how it used to be.

And that, Mai thinks, is that.

* * *

"Who's Gene?" Mai asks, and immediately regrets the question when she sees the way Naru's face shifts into something like pain and his eyes become hooded and closed.

"Where'd you hear that name?" he asks. His voice is the same clipped tone he always uses, but there's an undercurrent beneath it that sounds raw and hoarse.

"Forget I mentioned it." Mai says, laughing loudly and nervously. She's backpedaling furiously, desperate to leave and to pretend that she had never seen that look on Naru's face.

She turns to leave and her hand is on the doorknob when Naru's hand closes around her wrist. His hand is warm and calloused and she can feel the strength in it behind his iron grip. It doesn't hurt, but he's holding her wrist in a way that says she's not allowed to leave. Even under the circumstances, Mai feels her heart start pounding in her chest and a slow, gradual heat starts to build in her cheeks.

The fact that Naru sees she's blushing makes her that much more embarrassed.

"Where'd you hear that name?" he repeats. His eyes look bruised. He hasn't been sleeping much lately. He's still always in the office when Mai leaves, and always there when she arrives.

Mai wants to rip her wrist out of his grasp and leave but she doesn't. She lets her hand fall away from the doorknob and turns to face him fully.

She sucks in a deep breath and says, "I…I have dreams about him. Or not about him, just he's there. Like whenever I dream about a case he's there and he helps me. He's really nice and he looks a lot like you." She's rambling, she realizes. Mai pauses, mulling over her words, then looks up at him questioningly, "Are you…are you two rela-"

"How long?" Naru asks. His voice is hard and unforgiving and Mai's scared to look him in the face anymore so she drops her gaze to where his hand is resting on her skin.

"Since the first case." She whispers. She doesn't know much about what's going in, but she can tell that whoever Gene is, he means a lot to Naru. And she's made him mad.

The hand on her wrist tightens to the point of being painful and Mai gasps. Naru's face looks hurt, something she's never seen before. He drops her wrist suddenly and barges out of the office, walking quickly.

Mai stands alone for a few moments, stunned, then follows after him.

He's made it outside and is taking long strides down the sidewalk. "Naru!" Mai calls, running to try and catch up. "Naru I'm sorry." She says, grabbing onto his arm. She has to almost run to keep up with him.

Naru walks in silence for a few minutes then suddenly stops. Mai stumbles forward and falls, catching her knee on a stray rock.

"He was my brother." Naru says. Mai catches the fact that he says 'was' not 'is' and feels more ashamed then she was before. "I'm sorry." She says again.

Naru's silent. His face is turned to the sun and the light on his face makes him look so beautiful it takes her breath away.

She's heard the whispers in the office, that Naru's leaving, and now it all suddenly makes sense. At first she thought it was just office gossip, but the realization that it could actually be true makes it hard to breathe.

Mai looks up at him, musters up every ounce of courage she has, and says in a trembling voice, "Please stay with me."

Naru's face remains impassive though she sees the subtle shift in his eyes and the slight downturn of his lips. He offers her his hand, and helps her up.

She looks down to wipe dirt of her skirt and examine the blood on her knee and when she looks back up, he's already walking away, the black of his clothes a stark contrast to the brightness of the day.

It strikes Mai that this is the pattern of things. She's always the one down on her knees; he's always the one who's those few steps ahead. She realizes he never answered her. Maybe that was answer enough.

Two weeks later Naru leaves for London.

* * *

By the time Mai gets ready to leave work, it's already dark outside. It had been a long, hectic day of potential cases and complaints from both the customers and her boss, and she's exhausted.

She yawns loudly, remembering to cover her mouth with her hand at the last moment, then stretches her arms until she feels her back pop.

She logs out of her computer and straightens the papers on her desk. The clock on the wall says it's almost 9 and Mai ponders briefly if she should ask Lin to walk her home.

She can still hear him clacking away at his computer, however, and decides not to disturb him.

She calls out her goodbyes to both, which Lin returns and Naru does not and opens the door of the office to leave.

Mai stops when she hears a door creak open, and turns to see Naru leaving his office wearing a long black coat. All the lights in his office are off.

He keeps walking until he's by her side, then stops and stares at her expectantly.

"Are you just going to stand there with your hand on the door like an idiot or are you actually going to turn the knob so we can go?" he says acerbically.

"Are you walking me home?" Mai asks dumbly. She wants to hit herself in the head as soon as the words leave her mouth.

Naru doesn't even bother answering; instead rolling his eyes, and opens the door, leading the way out. Mai follows behind him, smiling.

"Thank you." She says, after they've made their way out onto the sidewalk. The night air is crisp and Mai finds herself walking closer to Naru then she normally would.

He doesn't say anything in return, but he slows down and matches his strides with hers so that they're walking side by side.

The air between them is comfortable, something Mai has missed. She looks at him from the corner of her eyes and sees him doing the same. She blushes then turns away quickly.

The silence stretches out longer and finally Mai sighs and stops walking. Naru walks one more step then stops too. He doesn't turn to face her.

"I didn't think you were going to come back." she says, and congratulates herself for getting the words out.

Naru's silent for a long time, so long that Mai thinks he isn't going to answer and she starts walking again.

Naru falls into step beside her. "Me either." He says finally, and the words are like a blow to her stomach, knocking the breath out of her.

"Then why did you?" she says angrily, and speeds up. He keeps pace with her, but says nothing. Her anger builds and builds until it has nowhere to go but out.

"You could have told me you were leaving at least! I had to walk by the office and see the for sale sign to know. And everyone else knew didn't they? I was the only one left out of the know? Do you know how stupid I felt? And then you went and…..and said I was in love…with…"

She trails off, surprised to find tears in her eyes. Naru still says nothing.

"You humiliated me and then just come waltzing back into my life like you were invited. Did you ever think maybe I was trying to….move on? Do you even care how much you hurt me?"

She wants to stop talking, to stop the embarrassing flow of words, but she can't. It feels good to finally tell Naru everything. Cathartic, almost.

Her cheeks are flushed and she's breathing hard. She looks up at him fiercely, waiting for him to say something back, but he doesn't. He just stands there, his hands in his pockets, staring at some point above her head.

She wipes the tears from her eyes heatedly, bites the inside of her cheek, then turns and starts walking again.

He doesn't follow this time, and when she looks back over her shoulder, she can see the outline of him, broad shoulders and dark hair, walking the opposite way.

* * *

At first, she was so angry and humiliated she could only sit at home and sulk. She'd bared her soul, pleaded for him to stay, and he had left. Just like that. With no warning whatsoever.

She doesn't talk to anyone, even when Ayako and Bou-san come to visit. They had known, hadn't told her anything. She feels like a fool.

And when she confessed, and he turned her down, saying she was in love with his brother, she had never been more humiliated and mortified in her entire life.

She walked home in pouring rain. She cried herself to sleep for a week.

The heartbreak was the hardest part to get over. She hadn't realized just how much she had needed him until he had disappeared. Until he had completely forgotten she mattered at all.

She started writing letters after the first month, when he still hadn't returned and she hadn't gotten any word.

She had at least hoped he would try to keep in touch.

At first they were short letters, where she asked him what he was doing, how was London, how was _he _doing.

Then, when she started to feel more courageous, it was letters asking him why he left, why he rejected her, why he hadn't come back yet.

Eventually, she stopped writing. Not because she got tired or bored with it. She stopped writing letters because Naru didn't reply to any of them. Not one.

* * *

Mai comes into work the next day angry and exhausted. Her hair is sticking up crazily around her head and Lin can tell from the look in her eyes not to say hello.

She doesn't say anything to anyone. She sits at her desk and stares and computer or sifts through files. She answers the phone once or twice, scribbling away at notepads, but doesn't take anything to Naru.

He calls for tea at 12.

Mai doesn't bring him any.

He calls her into his office 30 minutes later.

She goes.

His room is brighter than she's used to. She can't put her finger on why until she notices that his blinds are open. The light coming in from outside is enough to light up the whole office.

Naru isn't sitting at his desk when she walks in, instead leaning against the far wall with his arms crossed over his chest.

Even when she's angry at him, her heart jumps into her throat when she looks at him.

She takes a seat at the chair in front of his desk and waits patiently, hands folded in her lap.

He sits down in the chair in front of her and leans forward on his elbows.

Mai watches his computer screen and picks nervously at her cuticles. Outside, a car honks. The clock on the wall ticks off the seconds.

"I'm sorry."

Mai glances up in surprise.

"What?" she asks unthinkingly.

He glares at her then says again, slowly and mockingly, "I'm sorry."

He doesn't say it often, which is how she knows he means it. He's staring at her face, his dark eyes serious.

She meets his eyes again and says, "Thank you."

He nods, then looks away like he's embarrassed.

"I wrote you letters." She says finally.

Naru gives her a long look then says, "I know."

She breathes out heavily and asks, "Why didn't you reply?" She's almost afraid to hear the answer.

"I didn't want to encourage you. Just in case." Mai fills in the 'I didn't come back' on her own.

"I read them all." He says after a pause, then gives her a knowing look ,and Mai blushes and drops her gaze to her hands.

"Why'd you come back?" she asks again, and promises herself that this time, even if he doesn't answer, she's not going to get angry.

He stares at the screen of his computer for a long time and doesn't turn to look at her when he says, "I don't know." Mai blinks, surprised, and is opening her mouth to ask another question when he adds, "I think maybe I missed you." He looks at her when he says, "It's a new concept for me."

She smiles widely, hugely, and presses her hands to her chest to keep her heart from bursting out through it. The silence between them is comfortable and Mai almost regrets breaking it.

"I thought a lot about what you said when you left, about me loving your brother, not you." She says, and wonders what's made her so brave these past few days.

Naru raises his eyebrows, and looks startled. It almost makes Mai want to laugh.

"I've decided." She says. "That you're wrong." She smiles then adds "It must be another new concept for you."

And then, because she's so full of energy and something that's almost like bravery, she reaches forward and does something she's wanted to do for a long time.

She kisses him.

His lips are soft (which she hadn't expected) and taste like tea (which she had expected) but also of something darker and richer and unmistakably _Naru _and she sighs without really meaning to_._

He makes a sound in the back of his throat, either of surprise or indignation, she's not sure, and before her can reject her feelings again or maybe just possibly kiss her back she pulls back and hurries away.

She sits at her desk for a moment, waiting to see if Naru will come out. He doesn't and the thought that he might be embarrassed as she is makes her laugh.

That night, when Naru walks her home, he pauses by her doorstep instead of turning away and heading home like he usually does.

He hesitates then says, "I'll pick you up tomorrow at eight. We can go do something. Together."

Mai blushes then says happily, "I'd love to!"

And then, without saying anything else, Naru leans forward and presses his lips to hers for a fraction of a second then turns around without saying a word and walks away.

Mai presses her fingers to her lips and smiles.

* * *

When he first came back, Mai was so angry that she never spoke to him, never looked at him. It irritated her that he could disappear without a word and then show up on her doorstep eight months later and tell her SPR was reopening and would she like her old job back.

She's more irritated at herself than anything, for accepting him back so easily, but it's easier to lash out at him then admit to it.

She doesn't want to love him, doesn't even want to like him, but her heart isn't hers to control anymore. She gave it to him a long time ago.

She's mad at him because he never once tried to say sorry. He just expected things to go back to normal, for Mai to fall back into her old role of lovesick assistant with a snap of his fingers, that she thinks he's almost surprised to see this bitter, angry girl she's become.

She stays angry for a long time, even though she hides it underneath her smiling, happy demeanor. She honestly thinks Bou-san and Ayako believe she's forgiven him.

She's almost mad at herself that she hasn't. She's not used to holding grudges.

She's also not used to the people she loves stabbing her through the heart and then leaving her to bleed out all alone.

She knows she's being selfish. He was, after all, going back to London to bury his dead twin brother. But she can't help it. Some part of her thought that he had given her a small piece of himself and when he left without a single goodbye she had to accept the cold, harsh reality that he hadn't.

And then he had accused her of loving his brother, someone she hardly even knew, over him. He even made her waste time thinking that maybe he was right.

And then, one day, she comes into the office with a real smile on her face and says hello to everyone and _offers_ to make Naru tea, rather than waiting to be asked.

Because she had thought of something when she was lying in bed trying to get to sleep.

What if Naru coming back had been his way of saying sorry? What if that was what he had been trying to say all along?

* * *

When Mai brings Naru his tea, he asks her stay.

Confused, she sits down in the seat across from him. She folds her hands in her lap and waits for him to say something.

They've been kind of sort of dating for the past two months and Mai wonders briefly if this is the breakup call she's been afraid about.

Naru sips his tea, clicks around on his computer, reads a file, and then finally looks up at Mai. She studies his eyes for any kind of tip off to what's coming, but Naru's a master at hiding his emotions and she has absolutely no idea why she's here.

He sits back in his chair, hands crossed in front of him, the picture of relaxed, and gives Mai a long, searching look, something she hadn't expected. She sits up straighter and stares back, trying to ascertain what exactly is going on.

"Mai." Naru says finally, and his voice sounds almost rough. She wrinkles her brow in confusion and says hesitantly, "Yes?"

He's silent then suddenly takes in a large breath and says, ""I've come to the conclusion that no matter what I do, you're always going to be there, even if I don't want you there. You're annoying and stubborn and obdurate and I can't ever seem to really rid myself of you. I went away to London to bury my brother-"

Mai raises her eyebrows, surprised by how easily he says that now and tries to say something in return, but Naru keeps talking before she can get a word in.

""And yet you still somehow managed to make me come back. It's impossible to really get away from you, so I've decided to give up on trying. And if you're always going to be following me around everywhere anyways we might as well make it official."

There's silence in the room after he finishes this speech and he looks at her almost impatiently.

Mai just sits in her seat, stunned. She honestly has no idea what he expects her to say. She didn't really understand a word of what he said, save for the fact that he spoke almost a whole paragraph of insults towards her.

It didn't sound like he was trying to be mean though. He almost sounded nervous in his haste. She's about to ask him what, exactly, he was trying to say when he reaches into a drawer in his desk and pulls out a small, black box. He slides it across the table to her, then sits back in his seat again. His eyes are on her face, probing and thorough, and it makes her feel nervous without her really knowing why.

Naru has an expectant air all around him.

Mai reaches forward tentatively and picks up the little box. She almost wants to shake it to see what's inside, but the way Naru is looking at her tells her it isn't some simple gift.

The box is covered in soft, black velvet and is so light she wonders if there is even anything in it.

She looks up at Naru one last time then opens the catch on the box and lifts the lid.

Her breathe catches in her throat and her hands start to shake.

Sitting inside it is a diamond ring. It's not small, but it's not colossal either. It has one large diamond in the middle and minute little diamonds surrounding it in a circle. It's beautiful and delicate and lovely and completely something Mai would have picked out herself.

She clutches a hand to her throat and stares wordlessly at it for a moment longer.

She supposed she should have known what it was when he pulled the box from his desk, but she hadn't ever expected this day to happen. She was perfectly content with being Naru's almost girlfriend.

She swallows thickly and pinches the skin of her palm to keep from crying. Tears prick her eyes anyways. Her heart has stopped altogether and she can't breathe or speak or do anything but stare at the ring clutched in her hand.

Finally, she asks, "Are you asking me to marry you?" The words come out choked and halted, but she's proud of herself for even managing to get them out.

Naru tilts his head to the side and says, "In a sense, yes." His voice sounds unaffected.

She stares at the ring for a moment longer then sets it down on the table in front of her, hands shaking.

She finds herself studying his face.

It's altogether familiar and alien at the same time. He has a tiny scar beside his lip that she never noticed before, and two small freckles on the bridge of his nose. He's beautiful and Mai realizes just how much she really loves him, how much she's always loved him.

She leans forward across the desk and places a kiss on the corner of his mouth then sets back down in her chair and looks up into his eyes, so dark a blue they're almost purple, and says, "No."

Naru looks stunned for the first time ever. If the moment hadn't been so serious, she would have laughed. She finds herself cracking a smile anyways.

"What?" he asks, and Mai is glad to hear that his voice definitely sounds affected now.

"No." she says again, and slides the box across the desk to him.

The room is silent.

"Why not?" Naru asks finally, and his voice sounds flat.

Mai smiles, and reaches across the table and takes his hand. His fingers curl around hers almost automatically. Her heart throbs in her chest.

"Naru." She says, like she's admonishing a child, and laughs. "You can't propose to someone like that and expect them to say yes. If you want to marry me then you have to actually act like it."

Naru says nothing. Mai notices that his face doesn't look upset anymore just confused.

"You have to get down on one knee." She says slyly.

Naru rolls his eyes. "No." he says, and his voice sounds final.

Mai frowns. "Please." She asks, and Naru shakes his head. Mai sighs then pulls her hand away from his.

"I'm leaving then." She says resolutely and stands to walk to the door. She expects Naru to get up and follow, but he doesn't. She sighs again and puts her hand on the knob to open the door. She'll just come back in here later, tell Naru she's changed her mind and accepted and that will be that. She feels slightly disappointed, but she's happy anyways. At least he's proposed. She never would have expected that.

She finds herself smiling and is about to turn around and go kiss him anyways when she hears a rustle of fabric and the scrap of wheels.

Naru walks to where she's standing and takes her hands in his. He meets her eyes, then very slowly and carefully lowers himself to one knee.

He never fails to surprise her. She sucks in a breath and stands very still, waiting. She feels like someone has punched her in the chest and she can't breathe around the happiness that's settled there. There are tears in her eyes.

"Mai Taniyama." Naru says, and his voice is soft and gentle. He takes in a deep breath then raises his head and looks her in the face. "I love you. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

She falls to her knees in front of him and wraps her arms around his neck. She kisses his neck, his jaw, his forehead, and finally his lips. Naru wraps his arms tightly around her and she's over whelmed with how _right_ this feels.

It took forever to get here, and sometimes Mai had honestly doubted that this day would ever happen. More than once she had considered giving up, moving on. It would certainly have been easier. But all the hardships she went through, all the times she cried, all the moments she wanted to leave and never look back make it that much more special when she looks up into his eyes, sees the small smile on his face and says happily, blissfully, ecstatically, "Yes."


End file.
